Anyone who has been to my house knows about Ezra. The twins and I picked her out from the Cat Welfare Association in 2001 and she's been a lovely addition to our family. She's very loving and is a nice lap cat.

But something's going on with Ezra we don't understand. About three years ago, she began licking her fur off. She wasn't excessively licking so that she had sores, she didn't have fleas, and she didn't seem to have a skin condition of any kind.

The vet was at a loss. He kept saying it must be fleas. But, none of our cats have fleas!

He tried a cortisone shot a couple of times, but it really didn't make a difference. Ezra kept on licking.

First she licked all of the hair off her belly. Then her back end. Recently fur began to grow back in these areas and we were thrilled. Perhaps she's finally been cured!

Then we noticed bald areas on her legs. Not the entire leg, just a swath that went diagonally on her front leg. Now her back legs are almost completely bald. This really has gone on long enough, and I'm not satisfied with our regular vet's diagnosis.

We chalked it up to nerves, or boredom, or perhaps psychosis. I'm hoping the new vet we are going to take the cats to will be able to answer the question and help her. Maybe she just needs some kitty Prozac or something.

I'm so happy for her.

I invited Amie and Kelly over for pizza and wine last night and Kelly said she wouldn't have any wine. Something was definitely wrong. Either she was in AA or she was pregnant.

I called her from the psychiatrist's waiting room.

"Holy shit Kelly, are you pregnant?"

"Yes."

"OMG I'm so excited for you! I'm going to cry."

"Don't cry," she said, "I've already got enough crazy stuff going on over this."

It makes sense, especially when I've been trying to get together with her for a while and she has kind of been putting it off or has been busy every time. Tom and Kelly were waiting to tell everyone.

When Amie and Kelly came over for pizza last night we were fawning over her and listening to how things have been for her.

One thing she said CRACKED ME UP.

"Please, don't tell me that my life is going to change," she said emphatically. "Everyone keeps saying that and I swear I want to hurt someone when people say that."

I had said that very thing after I got off the phone with her and the kids were squealing with excitement over the thought of Kelly having a baby. It's one of those things parents have a habit of saying to newly pregnant people.

It's something we should never say really. All in due time that will come out. Why dampen the fun of being pregnant and expecting a baby?

Here's a list of all that I am (or feel) responsible for right at this moment. Besides dropping school, I need to filter out some of these as well.

1. My kids and their emotional and physical health, including taking them to appointments, working on Tyler's IEP, getting Tyler stabilized, and helping Tayler with her anxiety.
2. My husband and working on our relationship.
3. My body and losing weight, caring for my hair and body, seeing the doctor regularly..
4. My kids and their activities including homework, soccer, choir, girl scouts, and plain old social interaction.
5. My house and taking care of it - that means doing the laundry and the dishes and helping out with keeping things clean and orderly.
6. My writer's group and keeping the prompts going and writing what I can for that. I want to keep this one because I enjoy writing.
7. My job and making up the time I've had to take to cover responsibilities above.
8. My debt and paying it off while not incurring any additional debt.
9. My friends and being a supportive and caring friend who is there when they need me.

When my grandmother first told me that my mom's ears were 'broken' I remember crying and crying for her. I must have been 3.

Now 25 years later she has a cochlear implant and has done amazing things the doctors thought would not be possible of a deaf woman who had never heard before in her life. She speaks better than ever, understand speech, enjoys music and can talk to me on the telephone (something I never imagined I would ever be able to do).

Even though we have our differences, I still honor and respect my mother this Mother's day and all to come.

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers in my life.

I told my psychiatrist my life seems impossible right now. She said that's normal. My life would be impossible for anyone, she said.

She said, even if everyone in my life were healthy and happy, including me, my life would be challenging for most people. I have additional hurdles, and the playing field isn't level for me. And a lot of people in my life are not healthy and happy, the most important ones being my kids.

She said, forget school for right now. Your family needs you.

She said, push everything off the table except what you absolutely have to do. That will leave you space to handle the emergencies, and maybe even space for yourself.

Good advice. Maybe this will help me get out of bed easier in the morning knowing I only have to do x many things. I don't know.

I just sent the House Judiciary Committee my questions to ask Bush's torture team. You can send your own questions and help get at the truth about torture. Go to:
https://secure.aclu.org/site/SPageServer?pagename=DemandtheTruth2&s_s=ta...

Tyler's sleep study was uneventful. It was hard for her to fall asleep with all of those wires, but she made it and slept through the night.

The nap study was annoying, because it was like taking the nap study for me all over again. I had to stay in the room with the lights out, and that makes me feel like sleeping!

We're both pretty tired today, but, glad it's over.

I wonder what the results will be.

The kids went with my parents to COSI this morning, and Scott and I set out for a long walk. We went to the park, the park of roses where we got married, and then sat outside along with other folks waiting for the library to open. Picked up a few books, a cd, and came home for lunch. It was really nice, because I felt like Scott and I connected, and spent quality time we haven't spent together in a while.

The rest of my day I plan to attack paperwork and email and get caught up.

Plus a family meeting tonight.