Sick... and tired

Today I am sick and tired of Tyler's behavior. She wanted to have chicken noodle soup for breakfast when I had that in mind for lunch. She threw a fit and screamed and stomped when I told her no.

Then she wanted to have peanuts. At least she handled that a little better, making animal noises and retreating to her bedroom.

I know this is part of our life with a bipolar child, but some days it just feels like part of life with a spoiled child. The only difference is that I never give in to that behavior so she has no reason to think it will be effective. She does it because she hasn't learned to control it.

It's so tiring. It makes ME want to react sometimes. It makes ME feel like stomping and throwing myself on the floor and convulsing like I'm having a seizure screaming like an animal, because I feel so helpless to find ways for her to deal with what she's feeling appropriately.

Because simply telling her this is an inappropriate response, this is blowing things way out of proportion, use your words to express your feelings, for heaven's sake it's just breakfast... none of that works.

It feels so wrong to comfort her when she's acting so terribly, but I wonder if it might help. We've tried it in the past and she's rejected it and freaked out. But sometimes it works. I might start trying that, even if it goes against everything that seems like the right thing to do.

I learned a long time ago that most of the things that you do with a non-bipolar child, most of the right things that you do to discourage bad behavior and encourage better behavior, well, a lot of them don't work at all with Tyler. And because of that I've felt like a terrible parent.

For a while those behaviors that Tyler exhibited got so much better that we didn't have to practice the right responses every day. We're back to having to deal with it several times a day now. I'm not sure, but it seems like it is getting worse- but that might just be a perception because we have been dealing with it for a couple of months now.

At any rate, I think I need to figure out some straight forward, practical ways to deal with Tyler. Maybe I will write about them when I find them or figure some out.