family

I've been thinking a lot today about our move.

Things are lining up very nicely and I am really looking forward to a fresh start in Sweden.

It's been so freeing to shed all of the stuff I just don't need, or can replace later if I do need it.

It's been overwhelming to see how much art and writing and pictures I have saved throughout the years.

It's also been happy and sad. I see things from Scott when we first started dating. I see things I wrote that I am surprised now to see how relevant it is.

I have this feeling in the pit of my stomach. I'm not sure how to describe it. It's familiar, like hunger.

Am I scared? Yes.

Is that going to stop me? No.

So much has been going on I haven't really taken the time to properly say how much I really enjoyed Ann and Igor's visit to the U.S.!

Both of them seem so happy, and all of us were so happy to see them, that I guess it slipped my mind to mention it.

Tyler went swimming with the couple, I went to the Eddie Bauer warehouse with them and a few friends, and we had chocolate martini's at Club Diversity with a good bunch of friends.

We had a cookout in their honor (and previously a birthday cookout for Scott, and after that a cookout hosted at Dad's for his 65th birthday), so by the 4th of July I was cooked out.

This time, seeing Ann's friends was more enjoyable than ever, having spent a good bit of time with some of them on our trip to Ukraine. Ann and Igor's party was a resounding success, even though it stormed and we ran around like circus people taking down the food tent and bringing chairs up to the porch.

"Save the beer!" someone yelled.

We had most of the drinks and most of the chairs up on the porch when the rain began, and we had a lovely time talking and joking around. The twins were happy to see many of their friends who are Ann's friends' children, and over all, we drank, we ate, and we had a good time.

Tyler seems to be taking a turn for the worse. She's been feeling easily frustrated, and her moods have been fluctuating wildly.

Scott and I laid down in bed this afternoon and I told him I feel like just staying in bed. He was so sweet. He said, what do we have to do today? And I realized there was nothing, save some laundry, and eat dinner, that we absolutely had to do, so it was ok to just lounge. And I felt better.

Tomorrow I think I will set myself a list of tasks. A small list, but still something to keep me going through the day.

We're having a few people over on New Year's Eve, so I want to get the house spiffed up a little for that.

I need to unpack and put away the suitcases.

I also need to do a bit of laundry, and start going through the mail that has piled up since we were away.

Last but not least I have a website to work on for a client.

Bill hasn't paid child support in months, and now his phone is shut off. Really bad timing.

Of course, Tyler picks this day to freak out and have a tantrum. She's upstairs screaming like the girl out of The Exorcist. I wouldn't be surprised if her head is spinning and she is levitating 5 feet above her bed, either.

That is it.

THIS IS THE LAST YEAR I DO HOLIDAY CARDS.

In fact, I am going to quit mid way through, after having mailed out maybe half of them, and just send a bcc email to everyone I wanted to send cards to wishing them happy holidays.

Next year, I'll start out the right way from the beginning. Without any cards, and with every intention of saving money and trees and just emailing everyone. Almost everyone I know has email anyway.