Social Services

The new job is great so far. We have breakfast and coffee together every morning. There is a shared purpose for the team, and everyone is friendly. The week has been planned out specfically to train and familiarize us (two other employees have started as well) with the systems and possible ways to enhance or renovate them.

My mentor is fantastic. He makes these great sound effects when he is explaining things that really bring his stories to life.

Only one thing is overloading my brain. Everyone has been instructed to speak only in Swedish to me. They start to answer in English and I have to tell them to switch. This is the second day, and I have never been more tired in my life*!

In other news, I finally got help from social services. I am relieved, and happy that I will be able to get through the month until I am paid at the end of the month. I think that was getting me down so much I didn't even feel like writing anymore. Since I started work and got the news about the assistance, I finally feel 'ok.'

*With the exception of when I drove from Oregon to Ohio in three days.

So I was at social services today to find out if I can get assistance until my first paycheck from my new job.

I had my interview, ended up crying even though I didn't want to...

They told me to wait in the waiting room and they would be back to tell me the determination.

I waited and waited. The waiting room was slowly emptying until finally it was just me and a man in a white coat with a white scarf. He approached me, and I saw that he had a large wound on the side of his neck covered in gauze.

He asked me to use my phone. I said no, because I didn't know him and I didn't feel comfortable letting someone I don't know to use my phone. Besides I was in the waiting room because I CAN'T pay my bills, and CAN'T buy groceries, let alone for some strange man to use my phone.

He started telling me off, saying I wasn't nice, saying that God was watching, and no one will help someone who doesn't help others.

I told him I was there because I couldn't pay my own bills, I was there for help and I couldn't let him use my phone.

He said he was here for help too, and no one would help me, again. And again with the God is watching me.

I got 750 SEK (about 100 U.S. dollars) from Social Services to buy food until next Wednesday when I meet with a social secretary.

We have to go to the bank to cash the check, then shop at the cheap grocery store so we can get enough - LDL is kind of like ALDI in the U.S.

I can tell you, right at the moment, I feel like a huge loser.

I invited a few friends over for a small gathering tomorrow. It's a bring your own party where everyone is bringing a dish to contribute to a full dinner for everyone.

Hopefully everyone will bring alcohol to share with me too, because I could sure use a drink so I'm not a nervous wreck. One drink tonight and one tomorrow would be lovely. Unfortunately, we can't buy anything, because the 750 needs to stretch to Wednesday and the twins eat so much I am afraid the food will run out before then.

I had an appointment this morning with Social Services for assistance until I get a full month's paycheck. I took my bike, and along the way I had a clumsy moment.

I knew what was going to happen before it did.

I crashed into the fence and banged up the bike and me pretty good.

I held in the tears until I got to the Social Services office and saw that my iPod was broken. It was the last straw.